Saving Relationship
admin on Feb 10th 2009
Relationships are like plants. You give them good care and nurturing and they will grow and bear fruits. If you do not good care of them they do not grow and in fact die.
Sometimes due to many reasons, any relationship starts to develop cracks. This is true and people who have successfully saved their relationships will vouch for it. Sometimes boredom creeps in a relationship. Sometimes, people start developing unreasonable expectations from their partners which the partner can not fulfil. This leads to the first partner to crib about the other partner for not fulfilling his/her expectations. Then there are cases when one partner gets attracted to somebody else and starts developing a relationship with that person and thus the existing relationship with his/her partner starts to sore. Some people have a tendency to expect a lot from their partners. But they do not realize that his/her partner also has expectations from him/her.
Any relationship will last till each partner feels the need to have his/her partner with him/her so that his needs are fulfilled. But sometimes one partner becomes so used to his/her expectations fulfilled easily that they start taking things for granted. So they start expecting that his/her partner will not only fulfil those expectations but also do something more. This becomes a burden on the other partner. The other partner in fact may become a victim of domestic violence, abuse and apathy of the other partner.
When things start getting out of control; something needs to be done to save the relationship. Saving relationships is not an easy task. Any relationship saving counselling will involve controlling emotions; explaining results of wrong actions and behaviour on part of each partner; possible steps to take to make the relationship work and also some reconciliation measure from each partner. Only then the relationship can be saved.
One more aspect of relationship saving measures is to manage the relationship. This will mean taking some proactive approach and not merely taking reactive steps. Relationship management will be helpful in cases when one partner has developed unrealistic and unreasonable expectations from the other partner. For him/her these demands look like ordinary demands though in fact if looked objectively may be unrealistic and unreasonable. This unreasonable partner will never understand what impact these demands have on his/her partner. They will never realize it and they will never try to realize it. So all efforts to reason with them; will be futile. In such conditions, the best approach is to do the same things what they are doing to their partner. Measures like showing them that his/her partner does not care, has started some outside relationship or some such measure can be exercised. This partner will be shocked to learn that his/her partner no longer can be taken for granted. In fact, they now learn that his/her partner no longer needs them. When they start feeling this kind of things they start to learn the hard way that his/her partner whom he thought had become useless now looks very attractive. They will now try to save the relationship themselves.
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